Friday Funny: Sprawl Can't Stop, Won't Stop

Imagine a built environment that starts from a central location of Scottsdale, Arizona, sprawling outwards until it covers 70 percent of all land on Earth.

1 minute read

October 7, 2016, 5:00 AM PDT

By James Brasuell @CasualBrasuell


Phoenix Freeway Interchange

Tim Roberts Photography / Shutterstock

"Forecasting the continued rapid growth of the metropolitan area in the coming decades, a study published Thursday by researchers at Syracuse University has found that the majority of Earth’s landmass will be Phoenix suburbs by 2050."

The scale of such a prediction could only be the work of satire, which is the bread and butter of the website The Onion.

Yes, this is not a real news story, and there is no such study.

The study's fake authors, however, do seem well aware of the realities of transportation in such an inefficient land use scenario:

The researchers warned, however, that a lack of adequate transportation infrastructure in the Phoenix metro area could create problems for workers driving in from the suburbs, estimating that traffic congestion during rush hour could add as much as 1,200 to 1,400 hours to their daily commutes.

Thursday, October 6, 2016 in The Onion

portrait of professional woman

I love the variety of courses, many practical, and all richly illustrated. They have inspired many ideas that I've applied in practice, and in my own teaching. Mary G., Urban Planner

I love the variety of courses, many practical, and all richly illustrated. They have inspired many ideas that I've applied in practice, and in my own teaching.

Mary G., Urban Planner

Get top-rated, practical training

High-rise apartment buildings in Waikiki, Hawaii with steep green mountains in background.

Study: Maui’s Plan to Convert Vacation Rentals to Long-Term Housing Could Cause Nearly $1 Billion Economic Loss

The plan would reduce visitor accommodation by 25,% resulting in 1,900 jobs lost.

April 6, 2025 - Honolulu Civil Beat

Two yellow and white Dallas Area Rapid Transit light rail streetcars at station in Dallas, Texas.

North Texas Transit Leaders Tout Benefits of TOD for Growing Region

At a summit focused on transit-oriented development, policymakers discussed how North Texas’ expanded light rail system can serve as a tool for economic growth.

April 3, 2025 - KERA News

Rusty abandoned oil well and equipment with prickly pear cactus next to it in West Texas.

Using Old Oil and Gas Wells for Green Energy Storage

Penn State researchers have found that repurposing abandoned oil and gas wells for geothermal-assisted compressed-air energy storage can boost efficiency, reduce environmental risks, and support clean energy and job transitions.

March 31, 2025 - Pennsylvania State University

Kingsbridge Armory, large hangar-like brick building in the Bronx, New York City with brick lower floors and glass/metal curved roof..

A Bronx Community Fights to Have its Voice Heard

After organizing and giving input for decades, the community around the Kingsbridge Armory might actually see it redeveloped — and they want to continue to have a say in how it goes.

30 minutes ago - Shelterforce Magazine

Close-up of white sign with black text; line drawing of bike and 'BIKE LANE'

Houston Mayor Promises Dedicated Austin Street Bike Lane After Public Backlash

Although the one-way bike lane won’t be protected by physical barriers, the proposal is an improvement over the mayor’s initial plan to only include sharrows on the Austin Street project.

1 hour ago - Houston Chronicle

Bird's eye view of large apartment complex under construction next to four-lane road near Atlanta, Georgia.

How Atlanta Built 7,000 Housing Units in 3 Years

The city’s comprehensive, neighborhood-focused housing strategy focuses on identifying properties and land that can be repurposed for housing and encouraging development in underserved neighborhoods.

2 hours ago - Governing