The Onion provides a fake dispatch from a city that wants lobster roll stands and high-end noodle bars on every corner, like now.
"Saying they were fed up with the numerous challenges stemming from their city’s extensive urban decay, Camden, NJ residents confirmed Wednesday that they would love to just skip to the part where they get a hip, revitalized restaurant scene."
The satirical post also gives voice to some of those fake residents who describe themselves as willing to skip the part where the city addresses its "endemic crime, rampant drug abuse, and high unemployment rate" so that Camden will sooner see the benefits of a vibrant culinary scene.
And because it's satire, the fake residents of Camden are also self-aware enough to make a final demand: "Camden residents also told reporters they would like the city’s accelerated revitalization process to then stop just before they are priced out of their current apartments."
FULL STORY: Decaying City Just Wants To Skip To Part Where It Gets Revitalized Restaurant Scene
Friday Funny: How Much Parking Does That Parking Spot Need?
The Onion takes parking requirements to their logical conclusion.
Friday Funny: Chicago Transit Has Imposter Syndrome
The Onion posits that the CTA’s failures stem from a debilitating fear of having riders rely on them.
Friday Funny: Crossing the Street? Good Luck!
The Onion says the quiet part out loud to illustrate the real philosophy behind many road safety strategies.
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Judge Orders Release of Frozen IRA, IIJA Funding
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